I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
