were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
