May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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