nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
