i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
