She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize