saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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