well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
