I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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