meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
