I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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