im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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