I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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