Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
