How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
