You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
