Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
