this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is Oprah even human
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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