What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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