try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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