She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
