People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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