so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
