dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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