dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
