You made me cry and you don't even care
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
People in love make me want to vomit
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
