It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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