PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
