my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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