Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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