I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
