So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
