Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
