If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
