i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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