You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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