just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
