Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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