butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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