No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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