oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
