cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
