I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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