A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
