am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
