dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i barfeds in our rink
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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