mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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