when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
