The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
