wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
