This is not my ceiling
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
