Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
