Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
